Met with the “terminal illness” psychologist. I tell him I feel as if I’ll make a big change in coming to terms with having cancer (which is not the same as coming to terms with death or dying) in one big event, but I have no idea how it will happen. He’s not very encouraging, suggesting it’s probably going to be a more drawn out process. I tell him he’s not good at handing out apples and that every now and then I need to know he believes in me. I don’t remember what he said after that.
Later in the evening I get more and more mad at his lack of belief in me. I know I have to come to terms right then, because I have to believe in myself and do it alone. Right at that moment, in an instant, I felt the change happen. Man, am I pumped!