Saw my “terminal illness” psychologist. He helped me to realize I had found my limit in nausea, heartburn, physical pain, and depression over the last few weeks. I told him it wasn’t worth it. It’s no one’s fault, we all thought I’d have mild fatigue as the only side effect. Apparently, my stomach, intestines, and esophagus are very sensitive to radiation. I also realized I was dealing with a lot of bad feelings about making the wrong decision to get treatment. It wasn’t what most of the doctors in Dallas recommended. The fact that the majority of doctors I personally spoke with did recommend it, and minor side effects were all that was expected, didn’t matter. I still felt out of control and lost confidence in my decision-making ability. I think it’s going to take some time to come to terms with this. We then started talking about things I might do to gain a stronger purpose for my life. I decided to see him for at least one more session.