Many of you know of my seminal experiment conducted in the fall of 1983 where I proved from both an evolutionary and creationist perspective that it’s better to drink beer and eat pizza than to exercise. More importantly, I proved one should drink beer and eat pizza immediately upon the occurrence of any urge to exercise.
With the experiences of the past couple months, I find it necessary to add a corollary. The need for this corollary comes from an assumption I unwittingly made in the initial experiment. Namely, that the individual in question is in good health. After the last few months, I find myself decidedly not in that category. It is now clear I need to exercise to regain basic strength. Beer and pizza alone are insufficient.
Unlikely as is may seem, this morning I started exercising at a gym and with a trainer no less. There was much pushing, pulling, lifting, grunting, and cussing, but I survived and will continue to do this until I attain reasonably good health.
I now restate the conclusion of the original study with the added corollary. One should always drink beer and eat pizza rather than exercise when one is reasonably healthy. If this is not the case, one should drink beer, eat pizza, and exercise. Exercise should be immediately terminated upon becoming reasonably healthy.
To your health!