Due to the radiation therapy, I’m currently on no treatment at all. My post radiation depression, which most folks get, completely screwed me up. My previous anti-depression cocktail clashed horribly with Casodex and stopped working after treatment. So now it’s back to the drawing board. That means try a med (or two), wait 1-2 weeks to see if it works, if not, try another, rinse and repeat. It really, literally, is no more than a semi-informed trial and error process. Folks respond differently to the same drug. How long will this take? Nobody knows.
My wife tells me I just need to give myself time to recover from the radiation and that eventually we’ll find a new cocktail. Of course she’s right, but I’ve read that radiation recovery might take up to six months. The treatment killed a lot of “good” cells in my esophagus, stomach, intestines and spinal cord while killing the cancer on my spine. It should take awhile. If getting to a workable cocktail requires I’m mostly recovered, that suggests this may take even more time. Nobody knows.
The problem is time isn’t something I feel I have in any abundance. I’m going crazy knowing this crap is growing unimpeded in me. And that, of course, means the cocktail has to deal with anxiety, as well as, depression. And in the midst of all this I get to watch my dog die of cancer. Nice.
And so I wait and try to stay sane.