11 comments on “Surprises

    • Still appreciate the thought. This ongoing streak of bad luck does have me concerned. These are not independent trials, the rolls of the dice have me as an underlying common factor (I assume that you know what I mean since I take it you’re an engineer).

      • Guilty as charged. 🙂 I am an engineer and tend to approach most of life’s problems from that perspective. I also believe in objective testing which I think is one of the problems with PC – the tests often don’t give us enough clear objective and actionable facts to operate with. That just sucks.

  1. Wow Yapcab. Once in a while, I come across someone who has been through so much, and I catch myself wondering in amazement how this person keeps ticking. I’m thinking that about you – gone through so much, yet still going forward. That’s amazing, and a true testament to your strength. So wherever you draw that strength from, perhaps it can again be your friend in this new hurdle.

    I’ve found that prostate issues seem to be ’emasculating’ just like breast cancer can often be….de-feminating? (is that a word?). Above and beyond the horrifics of cancer, there also seems to be an emotional component to this cancer that seems to nip at something in our being and identity, and the hormonal treatments don’t seem to do us any favors either….

    Stay strong, you’re in my thoughts.

    • Many thanks for your kind thoughts. In reality, I don’t feel strong at all. I feel horribly, embarrassingly weak oftentimes. I’m just doing the only thing I know to do.

  2. I understand the heartache and feeling of giving up of life because of all the changings we are forced to accept with the treatments. Horomone pills that put you in instant menopause/or testosterone decline such as fatigue, weakness, depression and sexual problems.The fact of having your chest cut wide open from arm to arm. And dealing with the fear and the mind/body connection.

    I have read that an alternative – non -toxic treatment that you can take with your medication is 3- 6 tablespoon of flaxseed oil and cottage cheese daily. ( why the cottgae cheese it has the highest form of sulphur- based proteins.) You can substituted cottgae cheese with yogurt, use 1 tablesppon of flaxseed oil to 3/4 cup of yogurt daily to help with any type of cancer. The budwigs diet is well known around the world for helping people heal themselves fully from cancer. You must take it for live…. I wish that this provides you with some offering of a measurable dose of hope.



  3. I hope something good happens to you. Since I’m hoping anyway, I hope your cancer gives up. I hope you wake up one morning and your pain, emotional and physical, is gone and you can breathe and think and feel like a person. Like the person you knew before all of this happened. It sounds like it’s hard for you to hope at all now. So let me add my hopes to those of everyone who knows you, everyone who hopes secretly for you, everyone who wants you to get better. If you can’t believe it could happen, let me believe for you. Positive thoughts have a strange way of accumulating into miracles. If you have none left, let it go. There are plenty of people who are thinking positively for you, trying to make that miracle happen. I hope it does. I hope.

    • This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever “said’ to me! One of the best things about this blog is I now have folks like you pulling me.

      Despite the negative tone of this post I do have good, even great, times – when the adderall is doing its thing. On Wednesday I see the oncologist and if I do go back on Lupron and this breast nonsense ends, I’ll be a much happier camper. It seems now that something is always brushing against my breasts, usually my arms, causing a stab of pain and reminding me of my situation.

      Thank you again for such a nice post.

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