We had another death in the family Saturday. I guess it should probably be called extended family, but for all purposes she was family. She was about 100 and her body just gave out. Thankfully the pain patches made it a peaceful end.
It was another in a recent line of deaths. My sister in law’s mother died two week ago, more or less. My brother in law’s best friend of many years and employee died not much later. My wife’s mother’s estate closed just a week back; she died a few months ago.
I’m not sure what to make of all this. I guess it’s just part of life. These things cluster. It’s also not clear how difficult it’s supposed to be to deal with these events. More to the point, how emotional one is to be.
If it’s a direct relative it’s pretty obvious, but once things start to get removed, it gets tricky. At the end of the day, of course, we feel what we feel, but along the way I think most of us, like me, try to convince ourselves the impact is minimal. Maybe someone says something that brings a quick tear to our eye, but it’s quickly removed under the guise of an eye irritation.
I guess all I can say for myself is this collection has deaths has changed my mind. Something very real was lost with all these folks’ deaths and none of us will every find it in someone else in our lifetimes. To be sure, some of the things we’ll find in others and ourselves in the future will be wonderful, but that doesn’t change the loss. I think it’s that permanence in loss that has me so sad.