17 comments on “Tenses

  1. I am very glad you’re feeling better. A cruise sounds delightful!

    Thinking about what you wrote about living in the future and the present. I don’t think I’ve ever considered it explicitly, but I think you’re on to something there. I’ll have to give it more thought.

  2. Yes, the shortening of the ‘planning horizon’ and the loss of control are some of the hardest things to deal with. No easy way here, muddle through and live more for the moment/short-term is my approach.

  3. so glad to hear you’re feeling better! living in the present is one of the hardest things to do. truly. especially when you’ve been so rewarded for planning ahead. vacations and cruises are nice ways to practice enjoying the present. thanks for continuing to share your experience.

  4. I’m so glad I took the time to check in…I feel uplifted to know you are feeling better and planning a cruise. I really like this post about tenses…one of my professors comments that focusing on the past can contribute to depression, focusing on the future can heighten anxiety, which of course leaves the present.

    I wish you could go spend a long weekend in Asheville at my friend’s cottage. I joked with her that she should have special retreats for individuals who want to slow down and be in the moment. Her current lifestyle is very much driven by the intention to be in the present, to pay attention to stillness and space and essence. May sound boring but I assure you it is not! Focusing on the moment and exquisite self care and nurturance. That is my wish for you! I guess we all need those reminders to be here now – I know that I do – and your post has been a wonderful reminder to me.

    Thank you!

    • Asheville sounds wonderful. Your post reminded me of the Japanese botanical garden in nearby Fort Worth. Once it cools down, I plan to visit there again.

  5. We stage IV people are simply in what I’d call an exacerbated pickle. As Sgt. Barnes tells the junior scared Sgt in Platoon, we all gotta die sometime, Red. Sure, we’ll miss out on new developments in tech but we won’t know we’re missing out.

  6. John von Neumann contracted a serious and at the time unknown set of cancers by being at Bikini Atoll for the test of the first fusion bomb, where his computer had done the calcs. Von Neumann despaired after the diagnosis because he wanted to continue to do math. Me, I’d look forward to giving math (and destroying all live on earth) a rest.

  7. Yep, this is the true stage 4 dilemma! I find what helps me is to keep my own life a bit more simple. I try to look around the trail when I walk the dog. I actually think about how my morning coffee tastes instead of guzzling it down. I enjoy the scent of a candle, the swooshing of the washing machine, etc. these are things that have always been in my life. But, I figured I’d pay attention to them when I had more time. Hah! That was the fatal flaw in my thinking. We stage fourers are blessed in a certain way… We’ve been given advance notice of our departure. No one knows anything for sure. But I do know for sure that people who die in accidents or massive heart attacks would likely think us extremely silly…they had no time at all to take those second glances.

    • What you say is so true. I also make an effort to notice more things in my present world. It does help.

      Your comment also helps. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in what I’m feeling. I’m sorry you’re in this terrible situation, but your compassion is a gift to me that I truly appreciate.

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