I thought it might be helpful to others in similar situations for me to continue with how I’m dealing with the aftermath of my meeting with the oncologist on Friday.
Oddly enough, one of the first reactions I had was extreme disappointment with myself. My body wasn’t strong or good enough to fight off this disease at least a little bit more. Before too long that transformed in to a fairly high level of depression. My wife and I ate at home; I just wasn’t up to going out. The alcohol flowed, but did little. Bedtime came and I took some Xanax to help with sleep.
The next morning the depression was significantly worse. I just wanted to give up, although I never clearly formed what that would mean. My wife and I had a lifeless lunch out and upon returning to the house I laid back down in the bed. Sleep has an incredible restorative effect on me. When I woke up, I’d been asleep close to 17 hours, on and off, from the night before.
I felt like my old self. Problems to deal with, but a life to live and enjoy. I made an appointment with the TMS people to get a tune-up treatment to hopefully make it easier to get through this depression.
It’s now time to call it a day. If anything noteworthy happens tomorrow, I’ll let you know.
P.S. Thanks so much to those of you who commented. It really did help me through the toughest part of the depression. The way the day unfolded I haven’t had time to reply to you, but I assure you I will do so.