I should have seen it coming. After realizing that I’ll almost certainly go off Lupron early, the other shoe didn’t drop until this morning. It finally occurred to me that what this means is I will die sooner. The thought just freaked me out and made my death come into sharp focus.
All of the morning and most of the afternoon were spent trying to get my arms around this. I finally came to the conclusion that my current life on Lupron is such a low quality of life that it’s better to forgo the extra months alive and switch to something where I can enjoy my time left.
I’m actually doing pretty good right now Had a reasonable dinner and am comfortable with exploring other options. I meet with the oncologist Tuesday the 10th and we’ll see what develops.