11 comments on “Searching for a Pattern, eh?

  1. Hey Yappie, you’re starting to worry me. You did not get this far to chuck in the towel now! You had the chance to check out when you had the heart attack, so there is a reason you are here. I cannot begin to understand what you are going through but, rest assured, we are are all here for you. I have battled with the black dog of depression and it is something that others cannot really help with. I respect where you are. So I’ll give you no advice and let you know you are in our hearts. I hope this helps. Sending all the highest quality positive vibes from down under. You will do good. I know it. Cheers, Phil

  2. I’ve had to deal some amount of depression too. Hell of a thing to have to work through. You’re going to be fine. Hang in there my friend.

  3. A difficult place to be when the now, the past, and the future are all painful. Is there anything that distracts you completely enough to take you out of yourself? What I’m suggesting may be impossible given the chemical nature of your depression, but I want to offer it anyway just in case. There are some things I do that make me forget pretty much everything else while I’m doing them. Writing music, playing certain games, even organizing my movie collection. It doesn’t matter how pointless or mundane it is as long as it’s engrossing. Obviously, my oblivion doesn’t last forever, but there are entire days I’ve spent blissfully unaware of myself and my life. If you have anything that can distract you for even short amounts of time, it may be enough to get you through to the next period of light. As always, I am wishing you peace and strength. On to week 8!

  4. I’ve been dealing with major technical difficulties so somehow I missed this post. I’m so sorry to read about this and I’m glad that I just saw your other post that you are doing better.

    I can really relate to the paragraph about the past and the future- other than the degree of depression it seems completely normal especially when your childhood is involved, at least that’s my experience.

    I suspect there are many more people that can relate to your depression then you might imagine. There is a fair amount of existential angst that exists in all of us and when you add in all the things that you are dealing with it doesn’t seem that far fetched that it gets to as such depthd of feeling.

    I wish that this was not part of your suffering. I hope in the days ahead you find more moments of happiness than sadness and that you are able to find things that bring you joy. I don’t mean that superficially and I hope it doesn’t come across that way.

    As always, both you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers.

    • I continue to do much better. It’s both comforting and disturbing that these little pills can so profoundly change my perception of the world.

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