For the most part, it sucked, sucked out loud. Over two month periods throughout the year, I’d have 2-4 weeks of episodic depressions that started with no warning and for no reason. Some were mild, but many were debilitating.
Since there was no reason, other than chemical, for a depression to start I had no idea when it would end, or even if it would end. Usually, the last couple of weeks of the two month period were relatively depression free – just enough time for me to start dreading the next Lupron shot and the depressions that would follow. I never felt I had enough time to fully recover from the depressions before the next set arrived.
There were only two breaks to this pattern. One occurred in the middle of the year for no discernible reason. The depressions were mild to non-existent. It appears to have been a random event. The second occurred during the last month and a half of 2014 when I started taking Lupron and casodex together. All the depressions ended for the month I was on them. This last three weeks, being off both, has seen no depression flare ups either (although I have had started experiencing pronounced hot flashes 2-3 times a day).
I’m not sure if this latest break from the depression will hold up going forward or just be another random experience. I’ll find out soon enough. At the end of the week, I get my next injection of Lupron and go back on casodex. I want to believe the depression free experience will hold, but I’m afraid of being disappointed if it doesn’t. Several times during 2014 I almost stopped taking Lupron because of the depressions, even though that would have meant my life would be significantly shortened. The hopelessness was almost unbearable.
These last seven weeks have been a wonderful respite, I just hope they continue on.