7 comments on “Yet another mixed bag

  1. Hi YAPCaB. Thanks for sharing. As always, sending heaps of positive vibes and best wishes to you and your family. Cheers, Phil

  2. Thank you for posting an update, you have been on my mind. It sounds like you have your medical care plan tentatively in place which speaks well of your healthcare team. I remember you talking about traveling this spring. May I ask about the places you plan to visit? I can satisfy my wanderlust vicariously by hearing about your plans. Sending warm regards as spring begins to take hold. I have just begun hearing the mourning doves nesting in the garden and have learned that they often return to their sites each year, which is somehow a comfort for me when I meditate on the cycle of life and death and beyond.

    • Thanks for thinking of me. I’m afraid we’re not doing much traveling anymore. Since my diagnosis we’ve traveled to nearly 30 countries. The hassle of travel is now greater than the fun. All the piazzas look the same, all the church’s blur, etc. we do have on trip planned in October, though, the San Diego zoo. As a big animal fan, I’m really looking forward to it. Hope all is well with you and you have a great spring.

  3. I will hold out hope that the additional treatments will do what they are supposed to do with a minimum of side effects so that not only will you have extra time, the quality of it will be acceptable. I may be speaking out of turn here since we are not in the same boat, but I think there is something to be said when the situation is defined and acknowledged instead of unknown and waiting. I know that with both my cancer and spine surgeries the confusion, waiting and decision-making without having all the answers was so much worse than sitting down and being told what the situation was and what we could do about it. There was definitely a huge sense of relief.

    My oncologist told me a story once of a woman whose cancer returned and metastasized. He said her first response was gratitude and relief and he didn’t understand it but she told him that she had been living with this fear daily ever since she was first diagnosed and now that the worst has happened she could go on with the time she had left. It made perfect sense to me.

    As always you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am almost definitely going to start a second blog, it’s just a question of timing, you will be one of the first to know about it…..

    • After I first found out the lupron was failing it was a sense of relief for exactly the reasons you mention. About five days later, though, I started having severe panic attacks. Usually right before it was time to go to bed, but sometimes just as I woke up. They’re totally debilitating and last up to a half hour. During those times I’m so fearful I just want a heart attack or brain aneurysm to hit and take away the pain. I’m probably going to see a shrink if they don’t get a lot better soon. Aside from that I’m a little on the weak side. I broke a rib in a fall and then right after I started getting better, I got the flu. Lots of time in bed. I’ve got to get out more to build my stamina. We’re thinking about a trip to the San Diego zoo and I want to be in shape for it.

      I’m so happy to hear you’re thinking about a new blog. I don’t want to lose touch and look forward to reading about your adventures. Take care.

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