I went to my last oncologist visit full of trepidation. At the visit prior my PSA was 27.5 and was increasing at an increasing rate. Much to everyone’s surprise, this time it came back at 28.1, just a 0.6 increase. I don’t understand the underlying mechanism at all and the oncologist said he didn’t either. Prostate cancer and PSA activity is a bit of a mystery. Some of the treatments that have been shown to increase lifespan also increase PSA. Whatever is going on I was very happy.
That feeling lasted a few hours and then I realized I still have terminal prostate cancer. Perhaps I’ve bought a few weeks, maybe a month, but I’m still likely to die decades before my time. It hit me that maybe I’m still in denial of a sort. I’m not grateful for each day I have; it’s as if I expect to live those extra decades.
If I’m right about this, I don’t know when it will hit me: the switch to zytiga, onset of bone pain, no longer being able to drive, etc. I think the driving thing will be a watershed event regardless. I love to drive. Just a few weeks ago my car club sponsored a drive thru the back roads of Texas. I broke 100 MPH 5 times and maxed out at 112 MPH. It was great.Losing the ability to drive will be crushing, but I’m sure there will be a time where the need for opiates to control the bone pain outweighs being able to drive. I just hope it’s a long time from now.