I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2008. We caught it late in the process and there was a pretty good chance the cancer made it into the bloodstream before any treatment was started. In 2011 we confirmed it indeed made it into the bloodstream, as I was diagnosed with metastases on the spine. I now had incurable stage IV cancer.

Along the way I was often overcome with emotions, often “enhanced” by taking Lupron and Casodex. I wondered if other folks with cancer experienced the same crazy, out of control feelings. Occasionally, I felt very alone, drowning in overwhelming emotion. This blog is about letting other cancer patients know they aren’t alone. All the crazy feelings are normal, if not welcome.

In the posts I try to focus on the feelings, decisions, and treatments I’m going through. The vast majority of the posts are related to cancer in one way or another. Every attempt is made to keep it “raw”. Many of the cancer blogs I’ve read focus on the positives and minimize (I suspect) the problems their cancer brings. I think that’s great and there’s a real need for these blogs. Looking over the top searches that land on my site, though, it’s clear there are people in a lot of distress trying to find others discussing and working through the problems that cancer causes. I hope this site helps them.

Regrettably, we live in a very litigious society, so I feel compelled to add this commonsense disclaimer. Please do not interpret anything in my blog as constituting medical advice. Prostate cancer is a complex disease and every case is different. Do feel free to discuss what is in my blog with your doctors.


14 comments on “About

  1. Yapcab, 2 things: 1) I read every single one of your posts this evening. Your writing is incredibly powerful, and I simply found it difficult to stop reading. 2) I noticed in one of your posts that you had mentioned liking to go out and take photos. Why not post some of your photos? Maybe they can also express what words cannot. Keep writing – I look forward to reading more!

    • Wow! Thanks!

      I am an avid photographer and do post my work, just on another blog – photockie.wordpress.com. It’s how I make sure I stay in touch with what’s good in the world.

  2. Thank you for sharing your journey, and I am very interested in following your progress. It takes courage to divulge such intimate places in the soul, and I shall read with care and hold your feelings with respect. Again, thank you for opening up to us all. Lots of love.

    • Thanks for the kind words. I’m not sure the word courage fits. It’s more like I’m ok describing how I am and what I feel. It helps me to write about it. I hope there are others who benefit. And for those who think less of me for not fitting into their mold, I feel sorry. Rejecting my approach only reduces their choices and impoverishes them.

    • Thanks for thinking of me Bill, I really appreciate it! As you sort of guessed, I’m not into the awards thing for YAPCaB. They are a good idea in general I think, they just don’t feel right to me for this kind of blog. I do appreciate the extra traffic, though!

      • No problem, I did expect that this wasn’t something you’d feel right for with this blog, but I think it’s an extremely valuable resource for folks with cancer (not just prostate cancer) and also for the people supporting them. So I’ll push some traffic your way if I can!

  3. Hi,

    I have a quick question about your blog, would you mind emailing me when you get a chance?



  4. Dear Jim:

    My name is Kathleen Engel and I am an editor at Health Monitor Network in Montvale, NJ. My company publishes guides on various health conditions that are distributed free to patients through doctors’ offices. (You can see our site at healthmonitor.com.)

    I am currently working on our next prostate cancer guide and am writing to see if you would be willing to contribute a few “tips” for coping with the disease.

    I have read your blog and see you have written some wonderful posts, which I’m certain our readers would find helpful. Such as coping with depression and anxiety, maybe things you did to deal with scan anxiety/getting sleep the night before, your comments about relationships becoming deeper, your thoughts on interpreting cancer statistics.

    Jim, if you are willing to participate, I can get your tips either over the phone or you can email them to me at your leisure. I would be so happy to include your advice to our readers, along with a photograph of you, in our next issue.

    So you can get an idea of what this guide might resemble, I am happy to send you a PDF of our recent guide to metastatic cancer. Please send me your email so I can do that.

    If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.


    Kathleen Engel
    Editor, Health Monitor Network

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