No real change to my mobility status. The left leg has limited movement and no load bearing capability. The right leg has no movement and no load bearing capability. It’s been a surreal experience for me. I just think I’ll get up and get something, turn on my bedside lamp, or go to the bathroom. Nope, can’t do any of those things. We have 24/7 caregivers with us. A great crew, but it’s an adjustment to having someone else in your house all the time. We’re working our way through it though.
A couple weeks after I got out of the hospital, I started having seizures, you know the eyes rolling back in your head, can’t talk or control your movements and you start shaking. Back to the hospital for the fifth time in 3 months. They determined there’s a tumor on the inside of my skull, pressing against the brain causing the seizures. They gave me medicine that lowers my sensitivity to brain wave activity. The seizures ended and I was sent home.
It didn’t take long to find out the new meds caused severe depression and killed my taste buds. Working with my personal gp we were able to modify the drugs the hospital prescribed so that I had no seizures and no depression or taste problems.
On balance I’m doing pretty well right now. It bothers me that we have done nothing to directly address the tumor in my skull and while we irradiated the two tumors on the spine that led to my partial paralysis they are both still alive and growing.
I’ve not been given the warmest of feelings from the medical people. The neurologist at the last hospital I went to told me I needed to stop going to the hospital because I was running out of get out of the hospital alive cards. I asked my gp about irradiating the tumor in my skull. Aside from the issues about it being next to the brain, he said these tumors are going to start appearing like popcorn. I told him I really hoped to make it to 2020. He said to concentrate on everything that’s good in 2019. Still I have a positive attitude and enjoy most days. My apologies for taking so long to provide this update.
Yet Another Prostate Cancer Blog 
Glad to read the update! Good most days are treating you well.
Hey Jim, it takes a special kind of person to deal with all this and, as you say, remain positive and enjoy most days. You have been a great support to me and many others with your posts and comments. I feel woefully inadequate in returning the kindness. I too have dealt with “lack of warmth” from practitioners. Makes you wonder where their heads are at. Wishing you the best of everything in the days, months and years ahead. Cheers, Phil
I look at it this way, when you have cancer some bad things are going to happen to you and then some time after that you’re going to die. I accept this view of cancer as absolute truth.
The time has come for me to have the bad things happen. On balance I feel pretty lucky, I got paralysis below the waist. I still have the use of my arms, all my senses, especially sight, are intact, and I can still think and communicate normally. In my book I’m way ahead of this game. I’ll just adapt to this paralysis and be happy it’s all I have to adapt to – at the moment.
You have done a great job sharing what’s happening to you and supporting our little group.
Good to hear from you.
We should all see the silver linings that you see! Keep 2020 on your vision board. It sure can’t hurt to reach for it!
All the best!
Nancy
Jim, my brother has stage 4 Prostate Cancer. He has had it for two and a half years now. When I got the news I looked on line and found your postings. I just want you to know that there are people out here praying for you and are very thankful for your sharing of each episode as you face it. It has been a great help to me. Thank you so much. Clara
I am sorry your brother is afflicted by this disease. Maybe you can get your brother to read the blogs here. Just check the responses to my posts to find the other blog members in our informal group. We have a close knit group. It’s unlike many others, people really get into the decisions they’re facing, things that are happening, and how it affects them emotionally. We all feel better and become more knowledgeable as a result. We’d love another member.
It’s nice to know there are people out there who are praying for me and are thankful for my posts. I’m glad the posts have been a help for you. It makes me very happy to hear that. Take care. Jim
Thank you, Jim, for your encouragement and kind words.
Keep looking ahead! Your positivity inspires me to do the same.
Thank you Jim! You are an amazing man and friend. That neurologist is an ass. Stay strong my dear. We love you.
Sent from my iPhone
Louise Park MacMillan
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*Cough* *Splutter* He said what?! Where exactly are you supposed to go when this crap happens? That guy needs to get out of his brain and into his heart. Anyway, you are remarkably composed in the face of the new obstacles. I’m pulling for you!
I think he was trying to be cute. At least I hope so.
You are amazing! Thank you for sharing and for being you! I agree the neurologist is an ass!
Hey Jim,
Thanks for the update. Glad to see that you’re handling things in your typical fashion–positive attitude with a healthy dose of reality thrown in. We may not control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it (most of the time).
Thanks for inspiring us all.
Dan
I have been away from my computer for a couple of weeks myself so am just now catching up. I am sending my prayers and wishes for you to make that 2020 goal and have peace from side-effects of treatments (other than the “side” effect of tumors disappearing!
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it!
Acts 16:31, 1 Corinthians 15:1-8, 1 Peter 1:17-21
Hi Jim, I am so sad to read your latest news and sorry that I have not responded earlier. Your blog has always been an inspiration to me especially as we appear to be on a parallel journey. I had a small slip a week ago while getting out of the bath. The next 3 days I had intense pain in my hips back and radiating down both legs. Thankfully it has eased now and I can still walk ok. However the writing is on the wall in big letters. Like you, I will continue to make the best of every day. I am not afraid of death. I hate how this disease affects my family and my real friends. God bless you Jim, I hope we both see 2020 , and that with our faculties more or less intact!
Here’s to 2020!
These verses may be more appropriate to the situation:
Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:
Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;
Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;
Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Psalm 103:1-5
You’re in our prayers.
Brian
Thank you so much God bless