Trapped

Posted by YAPCaB on March 4, 2019
Posted in: Prostate Cancer. 14 Comments

Seems about time for my update. Physically, it’s been tough. The paralysis, seizures, vertigo, and hallucinations took a toll. I’m happy to report all but the paralysis is under control. My doctors continue to be amazed that I have no bone pain. I’m 10 years into stage IV prostate cancer and have no bone pain. It’s unheard of. I’m hoping it means I get a little more time on the back end.

Emotionally I haven’t been doing as well. I’ve been home just three months and am going crazy, seriously crazy. I’m trapped in this bed. I can’t even roll over to sleep on my sides. I can reach about 2 square feet of space. We have a device caller a Hoyer that’s basically a lift to get me out of bed. The problem is it’s very painful for me to use and the loaner wheelchair isn’t particularly comfortable. (Still waiting on the custom fit wheelchair three months running). So I wake up to spend all my days in the room. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a nice room 77″ tv, one wall all glass looking outside. Still most mornings I wake up crying. I get over it quickly enough, but it’s hard.

After the doctor told be I had six months to live, plus or minus, I sent out a text to all my friends whose text I have who might like to see me. I’ve been pleased by the response so far. If anyone would like to come to Jacksonville Florida to see me, just drop me a line with your cell number.

14 comments on “Trapped”

  1. I am not sure what to say. Your bravery and resilience are amazing. I hope you get the wheel chair sorted soon for mobility. You are an inspiration. Take care. Cheers, Phil

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  5. Thanks for the update, Jim. Like Andrew, I’m sorry that I’m on the opposite side of the country. I’ll just have to keep taking photos for you to have a change of scenery.

    Hopefully, whatever logjam is holding back your wheelchair gets broken sooner rather than later.

    Keeping you in my thoughts… —Dan

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  6. Do you play any computer games? I can spend hours and hours playing Elder Scrolls online. If you don’t want to learn a bunch of keystrokes for fighting, there’s Second Life (I’m there too) which is basically a huge 3-D art gallery/playground in which to wander. Your avatar can fly and take pictures, two activities I highly recommend. The Sims is also not very key intensive and has goals like make 10 friends or grow perfect plants. I’ve been playing that game for 18 years. I play all of these on a laptop that’s at least 5 years old, so none of them require sophisticated hardware. For pure distraction, you can’t beat computer games!

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  7. It is good to see an update Jim. Your room sounds nice. I have a 24 inch tv, Netflix, YouTube Britbox and Acorn. No view out the window, however I can still walk ok and get outside from time to time. Just wondering, what can you see out your window? Hope you get some better machinery soon.

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